sábado, 17 de junio de 2017

Those words people say...

Does people ever wonder what a couple of simple words can do to others? How the way we say things, get to the bottom of our human minds and affects us all as individuals and society? Am I the only human being (in this part of the city at least) that actually resonates that words have weight and that weight usually is pretty heavy? Probably yeah. Also probably I am the only one, since I am currently suffering for the weight a few "useless, casual" words said to me a week ago are doing to my mind.
Two things before we actually move on to those "filthy" words. 1. I am extremely judgemental on things, I overthink pretty much every single aspect of my life from the past mmmm 10 years? That's how much of my life I can process (keep buffering) until today. I'm a natural introvert with high sensory-judging mind (and INFJ if you "believe" on the Myers-Briggs personality test)
Segundo (2). I'm from a small tiny little norther city. We are polite AF. Hospitality is within our state shield. We were teach from a young age that "good morning" "excuse me" and "thank you" were words to open worlds.
So when I first arrived to this big city, the fact that nobody says "good morning, evening, night" or a simple "hi, what can I do for you?" as I come into a store or building or house or whatever, shook me a little bit. I am used to big cities where nobody has any time for an "apology" into bumping people in the subway/tube or saying "good morning" to every single person in a building filled with hundreds of people seems unreasonable. But, I made myself clear that as long as I am in one-on-one situations I would be keeping myself polite and friendly. It turns out to be working good so far (the bitchiness at the office has reduced by a 50%).
But those are "common" everyday words. As I said, they seem to be working, since the environment around me does seem to be a little bit more polite that when I first arrived there. But what happens to the judgments we think and then, say out loud, everyday...that are not necessary bad words.
I am not talking about the moment somebody calls you fat or dumb or truly hurtful things. But thoughts we say as casual, condescending ways, as a matter of simple small talk. Sometimes as jokes and nonchalant discussion...but that do resonate through the years...
A week ago I jumped into a friend of mine; as we were casually chatting about our life's so far (easy jumping into my pool of "I hate my life/job/bank account right now") he said "well, we used to have so much faith in you"...which I responded easily "yeah, I don't even have faith in myself anymore". WE laugh. We kept the conversation going and we went separete ways.
Until later that day, into the comfort of my bed I notice the nature of those 2 sentences.
Both of those statements are facts. Probably, He already forgot he ever said those words to me.
I haven't.
And they are both hardcore trues, going deeper and deeper into my mind, like a diamond drill, slowly but certainly deep.
It was a simple conversation, but without a doubt I have already cried over the fact that I also though I was going to be making a difference by now, I could be calling myself successful and I'd be having enough faith in myself in order to give others faith in themselves. Giving others "words of wisdom" as mother Mary and saying my 15 year old self, "it does gets better". Faith is gone. And I just notice she left the room the instant somebody said it to me.
Simple words are so easy to say and can have such a big impact into our surroundings. Or even worst, into somebody's else psyque, without notice (the hardcore part for me is not being able to notice I have been hurtful to others...).
Please always say "please" and "thank you".
Be careful of the hardcore words you use everyday as sometimes we don't even know the true origin of that word and can be loaded with hurtful history lessons.
And think before you speak...
and try to never take words personally. (Again).

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