Does people ever wonder what a couple of simple words can do to
others? How the way we say things, get to the bottom of our human minds
and affects us all as individuals and society? Am I the only human being
(in this part of the city at least) that actually resonates that words
have weight and that weight usually is pretty heavy? Probably yeah. Also
probably I am the only one, since I am currently suffering for the
weight a few "useless, casual" words said to me a week ago are doing to
my mind.
Two things before we actually
move on to those "filthy" words. 1. I am extremely judgemental on
things, I overthink pretty much every single aspect of my life from the
past mmmm 10 years? That's how much of my life I can process (keep
buffering) until today. I'm a natural introvert with high
sensory-judging mind (and INFJ if you "believe" on the Myers-Briggs
personality test)
Segundo (2). I'm from
a small tiny little norther city. We are polite AF. Hospitality is
within our state shield. We were teach from a young age that "good
morning" "excuse me" and "thank you" were words to open worlds.
So
when I first arrived to this big city, the fact that nobody says "good
morning, evening, night" or a simple "hi, what can I do for you?" as I
come into a store or building or house or whatever, shook me a little
bit. I am used to big cities where nobody has any time for an "apology"
into bumping people in the subway/tube or saying "good morning" to every
single person in a building filled with hundreds of people seems
unreasonable. But, I made myself clear that as long as I am in
one-on-one situations I would be keeping myself polite and friendly. It
turns out to be working good so far (the bitchiness at the office has
reduced by a 50%).
But those are
"common" everyday words. As I said, they seem to be working, since the
environment around me does seem to be a little bit more polite that when
I first arrived there. But what happens to the judgments we think and
then, say out loud, everyday...that are not necessary bad words.
I
am not talking about the moment somebody calls you fat or dumb or truly
hurtful things. But thoughts we say as casual, condescending ways, as a
matter of simple small talk. Sometimes as jokes and nonchalant
discussion...but that do resonate through the years...
A
week ago I jumped into a friend of mine; as we were casually chatting
about our life's so far (easy jumping into my pool of "I hate my
life/job/bank account right now") he said "well, we used to have so much
faith in you"...which I responded easily "yeah, I don't even have faith
in myself anymore". WE laugh. We kept the conversation going and we
went separete ways.
Until later that day, into the comfort of my bed I notice the nature of those 2 sentences.
Both of those statements are facts. Probably, He already forgot he ever said those words to me.
I haven't.
And they are both hardcore trues, going deeper and deeper into my mind, like a diamond drill, slowly but certainly deep.
It
was a simple conversation, but without a doubt I have already cried
over the fact that I also though I was going to be making a difference
by now, I could be calling myself successful and I'd be having enough
faith in myself in order to give others faith in themselves. Giving
others "words of wisdom" as mother Mary and saying my 15 year old self,
"it does gets better". Faith is gone. And I just notice she left the
room the instant somebody said it to me.
Simple
words are so easy to say and can have such a big impact into our
surroundings. Or even worst, into somebody's else psyque, without notice
(the hardcore part for me is not being able to notice I have been
hurtful to others...).
Please always say "please" and "thank you".
Be careful of the hardcore words you use everyday as sometimes we don't
even know the true origin of that word and can be loaded with hurtful
history lessons.
And think before you speak...
and try to never take words personally. (Again).
